Destination, duration; your decision

It’s your space

Almost all of us, no matter how able and confident, have experienced those moments of uncertainty. At times, it’s not easy to share certain thoughts, ideas and queries with our family or even close friends. During my interactions with youth, they often come up with their issues; probably finding it easier to open up in front of someone, who doesn’t have prejudices and preconceived notions about them. Let’s take the platform online. If you are wiling to ask questions pertaining to life and lifestyle, I am more than willing to address them to the best of my ability. Our interaction may not resolve your issues but it will surely start the process to settle them.

Also, if you are feeling angry and frustrated about the state of affairs you are in, here’s a way to vent your anger and frustration. You can dash off a mail full of curses and expletives to me. Sounds strange but it works. Do it, if you wish, and see how lighter you feel. Let me be your punching bag and rest assured your negativity will be taken very positively. Well, you won’t find many who solicit hate mails, will you?

Mail your questions mentioning ‘Query’ in the subject-line and purge your annoyance mentioning ‘Outburst’ in the subject line to: chandravel.foundation@gmail.com

And yes, don’t be afraid of identifying yourself. Mention your name and DoB in your mail. I want you to be brave and courageous.

- Chandrashekhar

Destination, duration; your decision

This reasonably successful professional is confused. He feels his family-centric approach is putting hurdles in his progress. ‘‘I want to grow but will I be doing injustice to my family while pursuing my aspirations? Can you help me get over the dilemma?’’ he asks.

Life is simple. We complicate things and go hoarse over it being complex. The moment you deal decisively with the so-called complexity, it starts becoming simple again.

Yes, can understand your situation. Here go a few points for you to ponder over. Hope, they help you arrive at some solution. The final decision, of course, is for you to take since no one else can decide what is good for you and what is not.

Each one of us has one’s unique blueprint to adhere to. Like in case of our faces, hardly any two blueprints could be identical. In your bid to do justice to your blueprint, you must be exactly aware of what you want to achieve and be objective enough to assess your strengths and weaknesses. At the same time, you need to be savvy, creative and courageous. It is an individual decision. No comparison will help.

A successful industrialist used to go everyday to his unit situated a few kilometres away from the city. On his way to work and back, he would invariably see a healthy young cattle grazer loitering in the woods or resting under a tree. ‘‘Why is he wasting his time?’’ the industrialist used to think. One day, he couldn’t help but halt and talk to the youth. ‘‘You are absolutely free while your cattle graze. Why don’t you do something?’’ The cattle grazer said, ‘‘What can I do? I am such a poor chap.’’ ‘‘You can cut the wood, sell it and earn money,’’ the wise old man suggested. Looking at the youth’s quizzical face, he continued, ‘‘Soon you will have enough to set up a small timber unit. You can then expand your business and earn still more.’’ The youth said, ‘‘What will I ultimately gain out of the whole effort?’’ The industrialist said, ‘‘My young friend, you can lead a happy and peaceful life. You will be in a position to do whatever you want to do.’’ The cattle grazer smiled. ‘‘I am doing just that. I want to loiter around and rest.’’

It’s important to exactly know what you want. You feel your family-centric approach is putting hurdles in your own progress. While saying so, you need to clearly define your ‘progress’. What does it mean to you? Once you know it, you can decide on your course of action and reset your approach accordingly.

Let’s consider an allegory. You want to go to a certain place and you have three travel options — a supersonic, a jet and a train. You can reach your destination by the supersonic, say, in 10 minutes, by the jet in 100 minutes and by the train in 1000 minutes. It all depends on how early you want to reach the place. You will have to suitably select the mode of transport. It is absolutely your choice.

There are two important aspects of this allegory.

First, the travel cost will be different for each of them.  The supersonic travel may cost you a bomb while you will shell out a hefty amount to travel in a jet and pay a pittance, may be, to travel in a train.

Second, your co-travellers will be different in a supersonic, a jet and a train. They will eat differently, dress differently and behave differently. It will be like living in different worlds altogether. To feel at easy in any of them, you need to possess that sense of belonging.

Now imagine, creating assets worth Rs one crore is your destination. Again, what matters is how early you want to reach there. You will have to suitably select the travel option. It is totally your choice. Of course, the price you will have to pay to reach your destination and type of the world you live in will depend entirely on your travel option.

You may decide to build assets worth Rs one crore over 30 years. You can then afford to work for a stipulated number of hours every day, switch your cellphone off at 9 pm only to switch it on at 9 am the next day, spend time with your family and friends, pursue your hobbies and interests as and when you feel like; in short, you can take it easy. You will have less tensions and stress and can enjoy reasonably good health. The price you will be paying is living in a modest house, driving a simple car and leading a thrifty life.

If you decide to reach the goal, say, in 10 years, you will have to work for longer hours. You can’t afford to ignore your smartphone. You will not be able to spend adequate time with your family and friends or pursue your hobbies and interests, as and when you want. That’s the price you will be paying. However, you can afford to own a bigger and better house, drive some smart SUV and lead a lavish life overall. Your price will also include work-related tensions and stress-induced health issues.

Again, it may be your decision to achieve the target in a year. You will have to eat work, drink work and breathe work in that case. Everything else will have to take a backseat. If you are married to work, you have to work at your marriage, they say. You’ll have to be ready to face such a situation. That’s its price. You will have a palatial house but you may seldom get to live there, you will own a fleet of high-end cars but your driver will have most of the driving pleasure. All in all, you will lead an enviable life but ironically, at some point, you may envy a ‘train traveller’ relishing pani-puri at a roadside stall or simply relaxing under a tree in a quiet garden.

An important thing I want to point out here. We have been talking only about progress as a professional. Our progress as a person is completely different and doesn’t depend on the mode of travel and the like. A person having professional highs may hit personal lows and a person with professional lows may have personal highs.

In a nutshell, you must clearly define your ‘progress’. The decision about your destination and journey duration is solely yours. Weigh all your priorities and options and take your call. Best of luck…

— Chandrashekhar