This girl has got a good job offer but wants to try her
hand at entrepreneurship. Her father, an official, opposes the idea. ‘He says
there’s no risk involved in the job. I don’t want to directly confront him, as
I respect him. How do I convince him?’ she asks.
Your father is saying so out of his concern and love for
you. He has been moving in his life in a certain direction and naturally, his
opinions are based on the experience he has had all these years. From his point
of view, he is right.
Talking about parents in particular and elderly people in
general, we need to take into account two major dimensions: age and experience.
For their age, we must respect them always and all ways. We
should offer them a seat if we are sitting and they have no place to sit; help
them — whenever we can — carry out their tasks if we notice that they are
finding it difficult; talk to them nicely and never insult them and so on. The
age dimension ends here. As you may have noticed, these are all basic manners,
etiquettes and courtesy.
The dimension of experience is vital. As we grow, nature is
interested in us only up to a point. Then on, it’s up to an individual to grow.
That is the reason why we may come across people — even in our own circles —
who’ve grown physically and not evolved mentally or intellectually.
Experience hones mental and intellectual aspects. We can
only ‘think’ about the things we ‘know’ and we can know for sure when we
‘experience’. There is no substitute to the knowledge we gain through
experience. It paves the way for growth.
Experiential knowledge is based on various factors such as
times we are born and grow up in, situations we go through, challenges we take
up, people we interact and transact with et al. Time we are born and grow up in, isn’t in our hands but the rest of the things are.
Also, though the time when we are born and grow up in is not
in our hands, it is in our hands to grow up with time. We will always grow if
we keep pace with time and if we fail to do so, we will stagnate.
Your father will think through his experiences of life. You
can’t expect him to digest your bold and adventurous moves. His growing up
years may have been influenced by concepts like ‘job security’, ‘savings for
future’ (The saving index has dropped over the years worldwide, and how!),
‘post-retirement plans’ and so on. He may never have tried to test new winds;
not because he didn’t have the strength in his wings but his thinking might not
have been as adventurous and as bold as that of your generation.
You’ve asked, ‘I don’t want to directly confront him, as I
respect him. How do I convince him?’
Confrontation sounds too harsh a word here. Look at it in a
positive way. You don’t have to confront him but assert yourself. The question
is, how strong your resolve is and how prepared you are to take things forward
in the right direction. You alone can know it and no one else. Listen to your heart and do what it says.
Following your heart doesn’t mean showing disrespect to others unless it
directly harms their well-being.
It may be very difficult to convince him, if not
impossible. There will be a great deal
of resistance from him to your ideas. Be ready for it. If you are honest and
sincere, your honesty and sincerity will go across and he will emerge as one of
your strongest supporters.
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